Saturday, May 15, 2010

FAIR & FAIRER and FAIREST!


Australians attack on us Indians was really disturbing but then there are many attacks on Indians by our own countrymen/women cause of the lack of skin colour and this happens in many educated people’s homes as well! These cases were not given as much publicity as the attack by the Australian ones were!

We actually call Australians racists then what on earth are we???We are obsessed with our own skin colour and refuse to look beyond the colour .

I have actually met people are ghostly white and still are unhappy…they wanna be more “FAIR”….and they think they are too dark and keep crying out! O MY GOD…wanna punch people when the do that!

Have also met crazy people who cover themselves with powder since they are not white enough! And they spray powder everywhere when they walk and some other innocent person accidently trips and falls down on that!( I have tripped so I know how annoying it actually is !)

When Gals have their gals night out, you actually find out how insane they actually are and when some of us would just doze of to sleep, there are others who actually take the effort to cover every part of their skin with some magic cream that will apparently make their life worthwhile.

The effort people put in to be white! Instant whiteness, they shoud really use Nerolac Paints or Asian Paints , even if you stamp on the paint you wont loose your colour!( Honestly, See the lastest Saif Ali Khan’s ad where he ignores the hot girl talking to him, instead worrying but his damn wall ) You will be WHITE forever J

People are actually obsessed with fairness to such and extent that every second advertisement on the idiot box is contributed to that noble cause! And one product assuring radiating white glowing skin in just matter of weeks and now the latest ad they were assuring the same beautiful skin in 15 mins!!!

A person’s skin is determined by the content of melanin in his body, this pigment is the reason of the variations of the colours! How difficult is it to understand such simple since and the skin tone is normally hereditary, but it must be pure magic if they can make a darked skinned person white skinned in 15 mins!!! This has been bothering me for a while when they show the transformation of a dark skin to white radiating one…they normally only focus on the face…what bout the remaining HUGE Length of your non-whitened skin!??! If only love was colourblind!!

Anti Harry Potter Fans: You guys buy this bullshit and find Potter crap, then go jump in a contaminated well and die!

I Love Michael Jackson but yeh he was BLACK too and then turned WHITE contrary to his famous track “ No Matter if your black or white!!” ( ok ok that maybe cos of his disease- no one knows that for sure yet !)so there u go guys u shld try that for a quick change!

Ooo poor men felt left out when all the ad’s were just showing fairer women and how they can have glowing skin and turn from a dark ( associated with ugly dirty creature) to a beautiful ( angel innocent most radiating beauty ) all of a sudden then maybe too many started buying it so then obviously they had to fulfill their need too and then they came up with the FAIR AND HANSOME ad’s o my god…..He was hiding behind some flower pot and entering the ladies hostel and hiding with the leaves of some plant and he trips and falls and all the gals laugh at him but then he uses FAIR AND HANDSOME , along with the cream he becomes a magnet with extra-ordinary strong magnetic forces unknown to the scientists alive here, which pulls women towards at lightning speed! He is assured he is handsome when the gals start singing “ Hi Handsome, HI Handsome”

Seriously SRK is saying this himself.. so that will re-assure more than a million people that the only key to fairness and getting women is “ Fair and Handsome” !

After all Gore Gore Chori ke liye Gore Gore Chore chaiye na not Kale Kale Chore!

O Dear God! The number of adverstiements wasted on the same concept:

A girl ( whose face looks like it has been covered with mud or some soot or something) faces failure everywhere in life…be it love life or her professional life funnily even at home her parents r upset that she is dark and she thinks she is doomed but then somehow she finds out about that particular brand of Fairness redeemer and then out emerges the most beautiful girl in the universe and many boys leave their gals and fly into her outstretched white hands , her radiating beauty blinds many people and makes many people turn towards her simulatanously which leads to many accidents together ..people bagging into each other and the car drivers loose their eyesight and bang into other cars or random buses! O all cause of thy beauty! She gets her job back, infact her boss is staring at her like he just spotted a human being for the fist time in his entire life! And there are people following her with their tongues out!And all thanx to the the fairness cream her life ROCKS!!

Its soo obvious it is photoshop!How dumb do they think the customers are? But then

And then we have darked skinned actresses turning into white !!so yeh that may give ideas! Why are people never happy with what they have?You need to actually see their BEFORE AND AFTER pictures to believe this!Kajol is now advertsing for some fairness cream I think OLAY..Where she looks like she has been painted with a brush with this ghasty white paint! I normally love her when she is her human talkative self but not when shes the alien!Deepika is advertising for some Neutrogena Fainess cream! Cant make good movies, its fine we forgive you! Don’t do such crappy ad’s!

Deepika, Bips , Priyanka Chopra etc look good just as they are but no they have to try to be WHITE

And these advertisements are everywhere like they are haunting you! They follow you! In the papers, TV – infinite channels wil show you infinite such crappy ad’s and then there are hoardings everywhere and then the faithful BEST Buses that carry the message along , and when ur stuck in the awesome traffic in Mumbai, you would obviously look!

Indians have funny beliefs, they want their women to be FAIR and WHITE which makes them beautiful and angelic and at the same time all horror movies have ghosts in white sarees..! (The IRONY)

The criteria for mostly heroines in Bollywood has changed from:

P Talent

P Originality

P Beauty

To

P Fair and if not fair then change from your beautiful dusky complexion to the fair one( or focus all the light available on the person to make them fair)

P Fake and No talent- There are hardly any people left who you can watch before you want to choke their neck

P Plastic Dolls - Every alternate actress is one

The movies and serials keep promoting this insane love for fairness which is one of the main reasons why kids want to be fair too!

Now people measure fairness on some FAIRNESS STRIP!!! John Abraham confidently explains his belief in the strips, and the importance of the same in his life,so u can actually check in the Mirror how fair you have turned into!

" Mirror Mirror on the Wall Who is the FAIR, FAIRER & FAIREST of Them all?!?!? "

God knows what they will invent next!!!



Tuesday, August 4, 2009

MUMBAI'S TRANSPORT

Mumbai does have many modes of transport but each and everyone of them is sooo populated, you prefer to buy your own vehicle and travel...oo then starts the Mumbai traffic...who can escape the Mumbai traffic???

It can be soo frustrating travelling here, let me begin with the mumbai BEST Buses (their facilities are exactly the opposite ) Staying in town is supposed to be a blessing cause we can reach our colleges and offices faster but i beg to differ...

The patience u need to travel ..is remarkable…some days u reach office in a short span of 20 mins but there are other days that the same road will take about an hour to reach the same destination??? Why so?? Thanks to the extra-ordinary traffic and the simultaneous need to dig every road in Mumbai!...I cant even see any progress in the construction of one road but the adjacent road will be dug up….how on earth do you expect the traffic to reduce! And in the peak hours you will be stuck at the speed of 20 for sure! And now with the monsoon I am dreading the traffic…and the taxi’s in Mumbai just are not ready to take you to your destination ever? Its according to their mood swings that they agree!

Mumbai’s Lifeline- the Railways : It’s the fastest mode of transport and connects every part of Mumbai..but travelling in theses are altogether an interesting tale!

The Western Railway…has the best frequency of trains but to survive in the Virar Fast you actually need some super-natural strength and stamina and cling on for your dear life!! Each time I travel in the train I do curse my friend for whom I am in the pitiable state I am in! You actually have to stand in very awkward position in the unbelievable crowded and according to the direction in which the crowd is heading and if the crowd is confused which direction they need to head to., that’s when u get sandwiched in between…and to stand in that position for long enough to go numb is bad…and when u finally reach ur destination u wonder why on earth did u even bother when u could just yapp on the phone like always!

The Central Railway is very populated too…but havnt tarvelled much in the central main line but the central harbour line..which I travel in, had fisherwomen traveling and they are the only ones who are offered a place to stand well…obviously since ppl are worried if the fish water remotely falls on the person next to u also, how badly u r gonna stink for the entire day and no deo wil help you( ignore what the ads tell u ) .and its true i know it cause due to the rush in the train , the basket of fish and the water did fall on a poor victim- my mom …hahahahaha yeh its not funny but yeh poor mom was in a very bad temper don't blame her! I couldn't even breathe next to her! And I have also stood at the door of the train literally battling to live but its worse when ur battling to get a toe space and some other women is holding your waist like it’s a pole and supporting their body weight on my poor thin frame!! How can someone mistake my waist for a pole???

In the peak hour I made the mistake of taking an andheri train….I was pushed into the train I narrowly missed the rod in the centre of the entrance, and was pushed in…never felt so weak in my life the way I do in the train, and everyone clings on to the train like it’s the only train that will take them home and if they reach home about 10 mins late they will be thrown out ..I rather be homeless than handicapped in the train. Anyways in the crowded train you get massaged anywhere and everywhere that u hoped u wouldn't and by soo many people simulatenously .that it hurts…and somebody’s left leg is stuck at a particular angle and cant move but he/she wont spare that toe space that was available. And then there is somones elbow across ur neck which makes u feel like a prisoner who is being punished for all the sins in life, that’s when u thank god that ur tall that u don’t need to smell people’s armpits !And well in these crowded trains, you have many eunuchs (they are actually nice ppl…don’t knw why ppl act like they have just seen a ghost) who will try to push through and then the charged up pissed off women will fight, and then there are exchange of filthy language and such horrible bad words ( and I thought my language was bad…travel by a local train …sometimes u never know the new and updated bad words ) and one such day …one ennuch told me “ Tu bekari banegi “ ….so mean..i dunno why she/he cursed only me ….my 2 other buddies were there too…

Irritating things that happen in the trains:

v Your mobile/wallet suddenly is flicked by the Super -Men travelling on top of the trains, that freaks you out..as if there wasn’t enough torture inside the trains

v There are some very very cultured people who feel the need to spit when the train is in motion and the spit flys and comes on u /ur window

v The less cultured ones will spit out the bright red pan( brighter than the red traffic signal) and that’s when u wanna chase them and smash their heads

v In the lady’s compartment..irrespective of how crowded the damn train is women have to wear pencil point heels and stamp half a dozen of passengers!( One gal actually asked me..Did I hurt u ??? I was like No No..my nerves don’t function well ..didnt feel it at all…)

v Women feel the need to comb their hair in the train….its really annoying when someone else’s hair is on ur face….

But yeh after travelling in few places in India I think Mumbai’s transport is the best …and thankfully atleast here the buses have the destinations written in Hindi and English…so that every one can read…and thank god.Hindi and Marathi are written alike..so many people in Mumbai are saved..but most places have buses with the destinations in their own regional languages…if u travel down south you will have no idea how to travel..

I felt soo scared and lost there…after Mumbai’s buses and lifelines …u can just travel anywhere in Mumbai without the fear of getting lost….an then down there each place is scribbled with their own native language….and to illiterate ( as I cant read the languages down south) all look like some child has scribbled something in cirles and designs etc ..

Each time i travel in other cities, i praise Mumbai's transport !! Mumbai does have the best transport system…just the damn population!