SIMBBLIIE MALLU'S...( Part 2)

I am sure you guys think I hate mallus...cos this is the second post dedicated to their kind.....

hmmmm ya ur right....they are soo irritating!! and I can't remove my frustration out at them.. so i remove my frustration in my posts...

Every time I go there I promise myself I shall never go back there ever EVER( capitals are just for the emphasis) again but somehow..my grandparents emotionally blackmail me and get me there and thats how i write more posts:)

In the " Malluland" there are few simple rules:

1) BE YOURSELF= SHOW YOUR TRUE COLOUR:

• if you have paid for something,get max use from it,
• come to eat FINISH every organic/edible stuff u can see,
• so what if you have to burp,pretend that the other humans cant hear you and burp out loud

2) STUFF AS MUCH FOOD AS YOU CAN:

• Whenever you go to anyones place for lunch/dinner- starve for a day or more if necessary and then go and hog
  
• So wat if its a funeral?? who cares??!?!? MOTTO IN LIFE: BECOME OBESE AND MAKE OTHERS LIKE YOU TOO:)
  
• Go for anyones birthday party, the person you hate....contribute bout 10 bucks for a gift and the compensate by eating non stop

3) WEDDINGS:

• Go for all the weddings possible: you get good food
  
• Also shamelessly take your family, relatives and friends( if you had to treat anyone)
• Never attend the wedding ceremony but during " FOOD TIME" its like population explosion
• And a wedding gift= something that someone has gifted you long back and you dont know what to do with it!??!NEVER BUY NEW GIFTS( My dad had gifted me a pen that he had bought 10 years.before ....how sweet of him..but obviously it didnt work but I didnt have the heart to tell him but if anyone else does so I will)

4) DRESS TO KILL:

• Ignore how you dress but always remember to X-RAY any human who dressed in western clothes( in kerala: everything except saree is western)
• WOMEN: Wear sarees and the traditional skirts( bright colours) and oil in the hair, the hair shld be curly like the telephone coiled wires...ya that curly....and obvio flowers on the hair
• MEN: To be cool...wear BRIGHT colour shirts/ hawaiin shirts( includes flowers, squares and random objects drawn on the shirt) to stand out in the crowd!!( as if your face is not enough??) and a WHITE lungii is compulsary ...no matter where you go.....you cant separate from that..
• So in other words DRESSED TO KILL

5) LIVE IN HERDS:

• Mallus generally are like a animals...they always travel in herds( group of many of their kind)
• They infest every part of the world...eg GULF( now the epicentre of mallus) I have full faith in mallus ...I am sure in Antartica you will find one herd dressed in loud clothes playing with the penguins!
• They are scavengers

6) 100% LITERACY:

• Ya its true....100% literacy rate in Kerala but I really wonder why they are so dumb??Have they not been tought by eating 24 hours a day you become obese and fall ill??? BOZZOS
• Women also have been taught a lottt but then most women dont work ...they just sit at home and become fat!! and then fatter.....and i guess find it a honour bloating up!
• Many of them are over-educated ...like many people i know( I get yelled at...cause i dont show mcuh interest in mugging books).are never satisfied with how much they study....they just keep studyin!?!?!there is a limit to study .. M FED UP OF STUDYING I dunno why they dont have normal human feelins!?!?!!?

7) COCONUTS AND BANANAS:

• No guys, am not bout to tell you nay non=veg joke but the truth is a mallus like revolves around Coconuts and bananas...and their by-products
• Most of the food they eat consists of coconuts and more coconuts and more coconuts and bananas and more bananas and more bananas
• Coocnuts and Bananas are used everyday ..including COCONUT OIL FOR LONG SHINY CURLY HAIR

8) ENGLEESSHH

• Who says we mallus cant speak other languages huh???
• OF course we speak better than any of you( minus the accent )
• If you try and pay attention ( after bout 6 times) you will understand what we were trying to communicate , now we talk in all languages ...just that we have mallunized the language a little:)