SIMBBLIIE MALLU'S.....

Kerala is known as "GODS OWN COUNTRY" .....maybe that is due to the greenary around and definetly cant be because of the people there, other than the fact that they look like devils( M SERIOUS) many behave like one too..or maybe pyscologyically i think so ..because of their close resemembalance to VEERAPPAN....
Hmmm.....the place is beautiful..thats true..but the same place at night is damn scary...and at night the people look more scary...and there people who wear white mundu(lungi) for all occassions...whether its work,for prayers,funerals..weddings.or even their own....so you can imagine when you see someone clothed in white shirt.+..and their scary physical appearance...in the night .....and the surrounding area is equally scary ....and there are reptiles that slither their way around one house to another....i dread going there but unfortunately I have to since my relatives live there...:(
The criteria for a mallu hero= OBESE, UGLY(95% times), horrible teeth, horrible hair and
moustache is a must..and in most movies they wear flashy undergarments...under the white mundu and the camera is kept in such a way to shoot the bright bright undergarments...i mean c'mon cant you wear darker shades....it would be a relief for our eyes!! and mallu women have to be fat....hardly seen thin heroines
My grandparents are thoroughly disappointed in me..I dont behave like a typical simbble mallu kutti (girl)which is dressing in a blouse and a pavada(underskirt) and oil dripping out of my head ...and varieties of flowers sticking out of the hair...me dressing in jeans and tee shirt is way to vulgar for them...(what bout the flab hanging out of the women wearing just the blouse,underskirt of the saree??)..and from the time I am 13, people are asking me to get married..when i reacted in shock...they said i was so tall that they thought i should get married..when did height define a person's age??? and its true mallu's are a lil cheap....they eat a jackfruit and its seed as well(obvio not raw but a curry), we even eat the peel of a banana( again....a curry) btw its damn yummy:)
Whenever I meet some relative ...they have a favourite question.

• Do you remember me??I last saw you when you were one year old!!(me: seriously?!?! when i was ONE year old i saw ,sure i rem u )
• Aiiiyyoooo you have grown, last time when you were one and you could barely stand...(me:duhhh havnt heard that human beings grow over the years??
• When you getting married...( me:arrrrr shut uuupppp)

People name their biological children random words....i mean why do you hate your own child?? and the poor children have to bear the consequences for the rest of their lives:

My mom and dad thought they were being creative when they name me and bro(pity him)

moms name Lizzy..and dads name is Varghese...

so there comes my name Li+ va=Liva( the 1st 2 initials of their names)...it was ok for me...but not my bro....Lis+ver= Lisver(hehe) poor guy...and one friend thought his name is liver...and was like your mother is a doctor is that why she named him liver???

I was zapped..so if i had more siblings ..they would be named heart?kidney?brain??oo my people and their creative minds!!

Trust me the names may get out different emotions from different person...may horrify you,may amuse you, shock you to your very core or...you may become immune to them(like me..but sometimes ..its damn funny)

hmmm have you noticed most of the names always end with inu.....and add random alphabets (t,v,n,l,r,m,j,t etc etc)before inu...and you get a new name...and the best part is when you hear a mallu name..you never know whether you are talkin to a guy/gal...its damn confusing...

or maybe something ending with incy....again repeat the above procedure...ie add random alphabets(l,pr,j,b,v,t) also names ending with ji or jo..add random alphabets again...(bi,li,ji,vi,ti,ci)

You can always try any new combo...if you liked them

or even some nams have the word ma added to it...sarahamma,mariamma...etc etc..m thanking god..that though my name is a lil wierd....its thoda modern:)

Maybe the parents that it was COOL during their generation..but i bet the poor children(who have now grown up ) dont think so..

oo btw these are some of the "Normal" names....there are actually some human beings who respond to names like

GUYS: Pinku...Softie.....Appu..baby(the real name)

GIRLS: Ammu...baby

CLUELESS MUST BE UNISEX NAME:

Joy, Job, Happy, Healthy, Shine, Shiny, Kavin, Bejoy

A suffix mon(son) or mol(daughter) are to show more love to the child i guess...

what bout the following names?(wld have killed my self if i was named like that)

Shitty(speechless),Percy, Booby(stop smiling guys!), Dickson(seriously),Blessy, Bright(really!).CHAKKKU??

yeh we may find it shokcing ....and wierd...but not in our malluland...

and yeh most mallus dont have a surname.....they take their fathers name...

eg .John Abraham( the only hot mallu...awwww but yeh he is half parsi...that explains it) anyways his fathers name is Abraham John

and those who have a surname...will have an unusually long surname (tongue twister usually) that u rather forget they even have a surname!

Ridiculous styles

Our movies are unique in their own stupid way!Though the evolution of hindi movies has taken place a lil, we still have a long way ahead for our movies to look real enough:)

• A hindi movie is not complete till, there are about 6-7 annoying songs,which spoil the movie(by chance its interesting)
• In our movies, inspite of what the situation the heroine is in, she is always dressed well and has loads of makeup
• The villian always has highligted makeup-if its a guy, kajal in the eye, extra ordinary colour lens, wierd hairdo, teeth can be black or golden(something that will make our lovely heroine scared) and if the villian is a girl then, she will have loads laods of loud makeup,huge bindi covering her forehead, loads of accessories,coloured lens( keep rolling the eyes for no valid reason)
• In hindi movies how is love expressed??

Two flowers next to each other( u need to understand the pollination 1st)

Heavy rainfall+ thunder+lightning+wind that makes eveyrthing fly about but the two lovers sing in glory

Any random animals,birds or living organisms riggling their noses together or so

The fan in the room, or any non living thing becomes the focus of the camera

• In hindi movies, when the lead actors kiss their necks and the camera is always at a crooked angle, two emphasis that yes they r making out
• Most of the rape scenes, the girl treats the guy as a friend till she realizes what is actually hapenning, that is when he tears a piece of her clothe and then starts the howling,nahiin aisa mat karo...mujhe chod do...and out of no where the hero flys in and dishom dishom begins, if this scene has to take place in the rains the girl coincindently will be wearing WHITE
• When the boy finds the girl attractive,wind starts blowing through her hair..wish that would happen in mumbai(its damn hot here)
• Always women get pregnant by hugs,wow that indeed changes the science behind reproduction!!

Bollywood!!!!

Apna Bollywood movies...what a story-line(90% dont make sense at al), atleast when they copy hollywood they should copy it completely...but NO they will indianise it....ooo....for some reason they the producers think it will work???seriously???how on earth will it work if nothing in the damn movie makes sense???but then again our Indian audience are very unpredictable!!
Any damn movie that Shah Ruk Khan acts,whether it makes sense or not goes a hit, still cant figure out why!??!?! Om Shanti Om...what was soo great in that movie....typical bollywood movie that didnt make sense..in the movie the guy who killed(car accident) shah ruk khan....had a child who grew up into SRK lookalike again!?! i mean..what!??!
or the movie Rab ne ...o my god...that movie is the height..had to take crocin to stop the headache..how is it that in only indian movies that we cant recognise ppl if they wear specs or remove them...taani (anoushka) didnt recognize her husband..who she stays with when he wore lens and had a diff hair style and new clothes(bright bright coloured clothes ..red tee shirt orange pants (tight)!! what bout the damn face?!?he didnt have a plastic surgery...and they made a 3 hour movie out of that and many songs...o there are so many parts in the movie which irritate you..but there are still who loved the movie......
yeh its true .... SRK and sex are the only things that work!!!